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Croc – 3

Director – Stewart Raffill

Cast – Peter Tuinstra, Michael Madsen, Sherry Edwards, Elizabeth Healey, Scott Hazell, Tawon Saetang, Wasan Junsook, Jack Prinya

Release Year – 2007

Reviewed by John of the Dead

Despite knowing this would be a very cheesy and unintentionally funny watch I decided it was time to dive into this piece and get it off my queue. I have always had a love for killer animal films, even cheesy and low-budget ones so long as they do things right, but Croc was one I was sure I would not enjoy, and that was the case here. The overall storyline is nothing special and neither is anything involving the film’s direction, making this one of those made-for-TV “croc”-of-sh*t movies I suggest you avoid.

Jack McQuade is a foreign-born business owner doing what he can to keep his zoo in Thailand afloat despite constant attacks from rival businessmen and the corrupt local government. When an estranged and very large Australian saltwater crocodile begins snatching locals from the town’s shores he joins forces with a vengeful Croc Hawkins to slay the creature.

I normally try to stay away from these crappy movies but surprisingly enough I came across some reviews for the film saying “it’s not THAT bad”, and I fell for them. It is obvious from the get-go that this is not going to be a worthwhile watch as the opening sequence gives us the film’s first kill and first look at the crocodile, which comes via horrendous CGI not worthy of the horrendous low-budget Indian films I’ve seen over the years. After that we follow Jack as he struggles to pay off his debts to the numerous local agencies he owes money too and deals with the constant harassment of a few local business thugs resulting to desperate measure to get rid of him. Eventually the giant croc enters the scene and so does Croc Hawkins, and from then on out its killer croc mayhem. I was pleased to see that the giant croc managed to dish out some decent kills, with many of them leaving the bodies completely distorted or missing pretty every appendage possible. Of course the gore could have been much better and the kill scenes consisted of that horrnedous CGI I mentioned earlier, but nonetheless the kills are one of the few positives the film has to offer. Aside from the kills the only other positives consist of a few pretty girls (I didn’t really care but this film is so bad they are worth mentioning) and of course Michael Madsen, the only “star” the film could offer. It is obvious Madsen did this for the easy money, but he still managed to give his usual demeanor that I enjoy viewing. Plus watching him stalk a giant crocodile while carrying and under-folding AK-47 was pleasing to my eyes.

Overall, Croc is a film I would stay away from if you come across it. The writing and direction were so bad I did not mention either one specifically as writing this review was almost as painful as watching the movie.

Rating: 3/10

  1. June 19, 2012 at 10:34 pm

    I just watched this the other day in search of a giant monster horror movie….needless to say I was sorely disappointed…

    • June 19, 2012 at 10:46 pm

      I saw Altitude recently in hopes of attaining the same enjoyment but it also suffered the same fate. Can’t think of any recent monster movies I’ve enjoyed except for Rawhead Rex and that was a while back.

      • June 20, 2012 at 12:19 am

        It’s a damn shame when I can’t just find a decent monster/creature horror movie when I please. I find myself watching old 1950’s classics and wonder why making such a movie of that nature today is so difficult.

      • June 20, 2012 at 12:34 am

        Good point. Even the very cheesy and low-budget ones of yesterday were done with some decency. These days you can always count on being exposed to the worst film has to offer.

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