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Spiders – 4

Director – Tibor Takács

Cast – Patrick Muldoon, Christa Campbell, William Hope, Shelly Varod, Jesse Steele, Sydney Sweeney, Jon Mack, Pete Lee-Wilson, Christian Contreras

Release Year – 2013

Reviewed by John of the Dead

I don’t always watch SyFy Channel style movies, but when I do I regret it. I first heard of Spiders back in 2012 when it was making waves throughout the genre. Throw in the fact that it comes directed by Tibor Takacs, who has directed two of my favorite horror films, The Gate and I, Madman, I figured I just might enjoy this film…but I did not. Despite my love for creature films, especially ones involving large Earth-dwelling creatures, Spiders is a poor experience that brings horrible acting, crappy FX, a poor story, and mediocre horror that comes nowhere close to saving the experience.

After consuming a Soviet space station that subsequently crashes into New York City, a deadly species of venomous spiders wreaks havoc on the city as they grow and mutate to gigantic proportions.

Joseph Farrugia’s screenplay starts off well, giving us an awesome opening sequence involving the Russian space station infested with the killer spiders and their crew eaten alive, and after the crash-landing it does not take long for the spiders to begin their infestation of New York City. We follow NYC employee Jason and his now ex-wife Rachel as they battle a military cover-up in their quest for not only the truth, but the cure to save their city and family from the infestation. The dialogue written by Farrugia’s adaptation of Takac’s story is pretty bad at times, coming off as unrealistic and unengaged to the viewer. The rest of the story plays off like every other film where a giant beast is terrorizing a large city, where the military opens fire on the foe to very little avail, building up to a climax that did not matter much given the film was over before the final act began.

“Come at me bro…”

While it was Tibor Takacs as director that sold me on watching this film, he did very little to improve on the crappy screenplay. His direction at first was great, setting up the story and catching my attention early on, but once the conflict arose his direction began to collapse. The acting performances are horrible and not a single actor shined above the others. I often do not balk at poor acting given cheesy horror films typically come with “fun” cheesy acting, but this acting was this fun, it was crap. His horror was decent, with plenty of kills and lots of action provided by the giant spiders, and while the CGI was nothing special it was not absolutely horrible either. The scenes involving the queen spider, one of really gigantic proportions, were pretty damn epic though and were definitely the film’s biggest selling point, and maybe it’s only selling point.

Overall, Spiders is a film unworthy of praise and an experience that I suggest you stay away from. It is not absolutely horrible, as there is much worse in the genre, but with so much better as well why would you waste your time on this?

Rating: 4/10

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