Home > Alone in the Dark (2005) - 4 > Alone in the Dark (2005) – 4

Alone in the Dark (2005) – 4

Director – Uwe Boll

Cast – Christian Slater, Tara Reid, Stephen Dorff, Frank C. Turner, Matthew Walker, Will Sanderson, Mark Acheson, Darren Shahlavi, Karin Konoval

Release Year – 2005

Reviewed by John of the Dead

Back in 2005 I was working at a local movie theater and for some reason I vividly remember when this film showed up there. Aside from peeking in and noticing it had some heavy creature action, I never gave it a full viewing or the light of day after hearing so many negative reviews and knowing that it was directed by Uwe Boll – one of the genre’s biggest laughing stocks at the time. Well, I was provided an easy opportunity to view this piece and I figured it was about time that I did, somewhat hoping that maybe I would find it at least a decent experience given tis heavy creature element…but I was wrong.

Edward Carnby, detective of the paranormal and supernatural, investigates a mystery that leads him to face bizarre horrors involving evil demons worshipped by an ancient culture, joining forces with his former employer, a top secret government organization.

Normally you have to really suck to get me to dislike a creature film, and while I do not hate this effort I most will most definitely never watch it again. The story overall is at least decently interesting to me, as I enjoyed its references to archeology and older cultures that were seemingly wiped off the planet. Of course, this poorly written story does not build on that very much and only used the idea for the sake of pretending to offer something a little different. Every possible cliché you can imagine is used in this piece, and while I normally find joy in cliché horror it at least has to be done right and in this case it was not. The dialogue is horrendous and the play between characters is equally bad. I did not find a single likeable character in this piece, only those I wanted dead a little less than others. It was nice to see lots of creature action written into the film, as well as at on of firepower to fight them off with, but in the end this only made it bearable and not enjoyable.

I’m sure you already know this, but Uwe Boll’s direction did nothing to improve on the story. I know he uses some actors not really known for good performances, but it seems their performances were even worse than they usually are. His execution of the action scenes was silly at best, and while we saw some decent carnage at times the kills were pathetic and left me wondering how many times the actors burst out in laughter while filming. I mentioned earlier that there is plenty of creature action, but naturally with this being a bbad film it comes in CGI format, and crappy CGI at that. Somehow I managed to stay watching this piece, so it wasn’t unbearably bad, but if I hadn’t planned on writing a review on the film afterwards I would not have stuck around until the end.

Overall, do not watch Alone in the Dark.

Rating: 4/10

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